Hey does anyone know any real info about calorie absorption (btw why the heck isn't it absorBtion?) ? My doctor and therapist always try to tell me that most of the calories you eat are absorbed by chewing, but I think they're just trying to scare me out of purging.  Evil.  So does anyone know anything about this?? 

Thanks :)

Also  I'm just getting up, looking forward to have a GOOD day, I'm not hungry at all and have a very busy day so hopefully will be able to be strong and not eat much!  I got up in the middle of the night and weighed and lost 1.5 so I'm off to a good start already:)  Hope everyone has a good day today as well!  xoxox

have you guys ever told yourself in the morning that you won't eat too much for the day or eat nothing at all if possible?
i did.
i always do..

but today, i had:
2 sushis (300), ice cream (140) and a kfc snack box (450ish - i left about 100cals worth of chips in the box).

despite walking for hours under the hot sun today, this is still BAD.
new years party tomorrow.. i'd better make it clear and really to NOT stuff myself.

If I had three wishes I would wish for....
1) The most perfect, romantic love of all time, like in the movies.
2) For a puppy, i've always wanted a puppy, and my mom refuses to get me one. But I do have two wonderful loyal cats.

and last but not least..... number 3,
to be a 115 pounds, and finally beautiful.

Heyy everyone, I haven't been on in a really really really long time. I use to post like religously every morning, and sometimes in the afternoon and occationally nights.

For the new people in this community,
my name is Samantha, i'm 17 years old, in 12th grade, 5'7'' and 142 pounds. My ultimate goal weight is to be 115. At this rate, it will never happen. I always fail =[. Eatting wise and dieting wise, i've been doing extremly well workingout wise though.

Tonight I had a little altercation with my boyfriend, which of course one of my friends took out of proportion. So I was really upset, clearly. I couldn't cut myself with my friends over, and i'm not a big cutter anyways, I got over that stage in 10th grade. So I poped an adderall instead, which has been my new thing since the summer that has just passed. I've been feeling pretty good, things with my boyfriend are fixed, although im still worried, and I haven't gone to sleep yet, naturally.

My boyfriends name is Patryk, he is 100% polish. He is 19 years old, we've been together since June, and officially boyfriend and girlfriend when he asked me out on August 5th of this year. Some of you already know this, have read about it before and have forgotten it, have mixed my posts with other users, or have just recently joined this community.

He is leaving tomorrow for 7 days, he will be 7 hours away from me, and after January 2ed I wont have a way to talk to him because his cell phone is going to run out because he doesn't have money to pay the bill yet. This means we will not be spending new years eve together, and get to kiss at mid-night which I have been dreaming of since forever. Not a kiss at mid-night with him in particular, just with someone who I really care about and "love". So now I will have to wait another year to even get a shot at my first new years eve mid-night kiss wiith whomever i'm with at the time. I'm really afraid he is going to cheat on me while he is away, hes going to his old college and will be with all his college buddies, getting drunk, and hopefully not fucking random girls. Hopefully.

You may have notice that I put love in quotations, and if you didn't, well im sure you realize now. I don't really believe in love, i've only been officially with him for almost 5 months, everyone (poems, movies, magazines, the whole sex thing and waiting, marriage, etc.) has always made love out to be some absract concept that you have to wait a lifetime to find and your extremly lucky if you do happen to come across it. Not to mention im only 17 years old and I don't understand what love is suppose to feel like, so I always over think it and confuse myself.

I have to work new year day anyways from 7-2, and theres a good chance I might have to take a double shift, which means i'll be working from 7 in the morning, till 7 at night =[ ugh. But it's time and a half which means i'll be getting paid 15.25 dollors an hour, which is great! I work in a kitchen, so it's not so great in all ways. I always end up eatting something. roar.

I've been on winter vacation since December 23rd, and I go back on January 4th. I still haven't done my AP Macro assignment, or started on my AP English IRP, although I did finish the book I was assigned to do my project on, but readings never the problem for me, its the essays and shit. I'm not a very good writer =[. Oh well, I can't be 100% in everything.

Okay, i'm going to stop rambeling now, hope everyone does good!

Finished a 45 hr fast .. would like some ppls to talk to on msn ??

I'm having a few wines, yes a bit tipsy, but love to talk :)

Instead of just listening to my meowy puss lol

if i had a genie to give me three wishes i would ask for these.
1- to be able to be invisible when i want to
2- to be rich and famous
3- to be able to eat whatever i want in this world and not gain A POUND.

good day so far. woke up, exercised like everyday, had an apple so far and am planning to only have that and soup all day. just like yesterday. am so scared of binging. and am also scared that i will puke IF i ate more. i hate making myself puke i feel so guilty and ashamed after wards. =\

so how are you all doing? if u could ask for three wishes what would they be? :D i love to know what other people are interested in having magically hehe.

XXX

Idiots who WANT an eating disorder.
I want to slap their pretty little heads against my concrete floor.
xoxo.

So I was with my bf in my room and he was touching my stomach. I felt like I was gonna push his hand away from there although it felt so good. I freaking hate myself thinking like this but the thought just motivated me. 

I decided to go for a swim today. I haven't swum for a month, I think, and I'm going to swim an hour, about two km.

I also found out that I have to cut off drinking coffee, at least in the mornings. I just don't like the feeling when caffeine runs in my veins and my heart starts thumbing so hard it could be skipping rope! I'm quite susceptible to caffeine, I know. I just drank only one cup! 

I feel gross.
I just couldn't stop today.
So, as motivation, I put up some really nasty, yet realistic pictures of my body.
Could you guys go to my journal and comment them, please, I just NEED to hear how disgusting I am.
Also, new people to talk to is always nice when you feel so alone. :)
Hope you all have wonderful days.

Some thinspo for you:




 

Today went smooth. I ate 350 Cal. and walked a lot today. My biggest help had to be all the coffee I drank today. I haven't had to use the restroom so many times in one day in a while. I cleaned whenever I thought about food. I hate thinking about food. I didn't think about it because I was hungry, just simply because it was like a schedule or a syndrome of boredom. I resisted watching my boyfriend eat, and eat, and eat. Gah I hate how guys have it so damn easy. He found out that I'm resorting to my old ways again. He wasn't too happy about it at all. After we got done fighting, I lifted up my shirt and grabbed my fat and asked him, " do you like my muffin tops? or what about the truffle shuffle? hmmm?" he just looked at me. ugh disgusting. I have a feeling he's gonna complain about it some more tonight. But the good new is while i was alone I made a thinspo video. I'll post it after it uploads on youtube. Thank goodness for easy access to thinspo vids with iPhones.

Hi guys, I hope someone reads this soon and can help me out.....
I've been pretty good today (after gaining 3lbs since yesterday, wtf?) only a bowl of cereal and 1/2 grapefruit for breakfast, and a banana and clementine for snack.  And coffee and water.  But I've gained another pound since this morning!  I'm kind of hungry, there's a sicky feeling in my tummy and my back hurts, but I don't HAVE to eat so I don't think I'm going to.  However, I'm worried that if I don't eat anything else today I might set myself up to binge/purge tomorrow.  Any thoughts about what the best plan of action is?  I'm supposed to go out and meet some friends for a drink...I might have one beer.....ugh not looking forward to being around all the drinking and eating.  If anyone reads this soon either tell me to stick to it and not eat or let me know if I should eat at least a couple almonds, thanks! 

PS no eating = no purging so that's good, this is the first day I haven't in WEEKS!!!


Thanks lovely people
xoxo
Noelle

What are all of your safe foods?
And what weird combinations do you like?

I literally feel beyond disgusting right now. This is the feeling I have to remember after I eat. So I have been so frustruated lately with the scale because everytime I don't eat I was still gaining weight. I figured it was before my period and that was why. So when I got my period today I was so happy but now I am the most depressed I've been in forever and I'm in disney world epcot. Yesterday I was in magic kingdom and I was doing ok I had salad for lunch and no dinner. I didn't go down a pound. I have been restricting for a while and the scale wasn't going down I was so so so frustruated. Anyway I had a few bites of fruit this morning and I was doing fine until comes 4pm when I was ravenous. I have been with my family a lot so it has been hard to dodge meals but this meal I didn't want to dodge. I was soooo completely famished no amount of diet coke or coffee was quenching this hunger. So we decide to get mexican bigg mistake huge. I ordered some taco salad in like a tortilla which was the closest thing to healthy even though it wasn't. I figured I'd pick at the lettuce and stuff. Not only did I eat the whole probably 2000 calorie thing but I even kept eating it when I was full. Then not only did I have period cramps but I had severe stomach pains. I'm not used to eating that much. I got so extremely depressed I couldn't be around people or anyone. I left epcot at 430pm because of how obese I felt. I couldn't bare to have people looking at me. I am waiting for my bus back to the hotel now. My stupid thoughts ruined my day. It ruins everyday. When I step on the scale, Eat, or don't eat I'm still depressed. Always. Its disgusting. I couldn't stay in the park. My gut is bulging. The scale keeps going up. Guys I just can't take this cycle anymore everyday weighing depression self hate. I'm going out of my mind. Now I'm going to go step on the scale and get my huge fatass of a number and then lay under the covers in the hotel and cry. After my period I better be back to 112. Today I was 116. This is a nightmare

I have eaten far too much today. But Im not going to moan cus that wont change anything. Instead I am going to do yoga and as many sit-ups as my body can physically do. I went on the Wii fit earlier which was good. I wish I could go for a run but it's late here and dark. I would love to run and run and leave all the calories behind me. Anyways, tomorrow is a new day and I am going to do better. I am going shopping so will be out of the house for ages, and have housework to do before that so that will keep me busy.

Hope everyone had a good day,

Much love

Ash
xxx

Any advice on diet pills? do they supress ur appitite and what ones r the best?
Sorry if I offend anyone with these question I know how sum people feel about diet pills and lax but Im at my wits end! please just help me this once.

I took senokot last nite, Im still waitin on the effects, first time ever usin Lax........NOT IMPRESSED!!

Im fuckin sick of this countin numbers and always thinkin of the best way to lose the weight! Worryin about who's gonna make me eat next, forget the diet pills maybe I shud b lookin for anti depressants :o(

xx

I DID IT Y'ALL WOO I DID IT!!! I reached my first goal weight haha heck yes!! Im finally 95Lbs again and NOTHING is gonna screw it up this time! Im gonna get lower! Now im just 2 more pounds away from my second goal weight 93lbs. I hope everyone is doing great, I know I am!! :D. I love ALL of you!!!!! :D Stay Strong!!!(:

I've stayed from ana and my goals a lot this year, but I'm back. I feel it more than ever. The only difference is that I'm gonna try the support thing. I have confidence it will help me stick to my goals.

I really need friends, so add me please.

Any tips or tricks for my first day? I could really use some.
I've already took a diet pill that suppresses my appetite, I use to use it all the time. I've started my morning with a large glass of water. Mmmmm no calories. :) 


by the way if anyone was wondering my profile pic has been my #1 thinspo. I just love that picture.

Hi my names lee my stats are h:5'6
cw:121
hw:160
lw:114
gw1:120
gw2:115
and so on.

i hope you all had a good xmas, i binged all day but since then i've lost 5 pound so i am happy for now. can't to running tomorrow.

*stay strong*

so i found out something....and its not something i read- its happening to me currently.

the less u eat....the less u eat.

and im assuming vice versa...

yea i think so...i remember back in the day- lol - i hate that expression- when i used to pig out, i actually used to eat more and more. like it wouldnt stop at one time. it would be a cycle of more food over more food.

yuck.

now im just ... i dunno.. im losing my appetite coz im barely thinking of food and i cant be bothered.

the less im eating, the less im eating the next day.

and its not like im trying even.

i guess thats the way your appetite is. just dont make a fuss out of it and worry over every bite i suppose.
but do watch your carbs coz they will make u crave food ( due to sugar release and all that ) .

i stick to veg. and protein and i think thats whats keeping me from ... well..i dunnoo.. making food the main highlight of my day i suppose.

good luck to u all ladies and i hope u all have a wonderful evening. <3